Doula Services
Preparing for Eventual Death, whether Near or Far Away
"A new approach to dying is emerging, one that encourages a dying person and their loved ones to face their fear, break through denial and engage in an open, honest exploration of death and dying."
~ Henry Fersko-Weiss, Hospice Social Worker and Founder of International End-of-Life Doula Association.
"We die suddenly or gradually."
~ Barbara Karnes, Hospice Nurse and Educator
~ Be prepared for both ~
If you were to die tomorrow, would your people know what to do?
Do they know:
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Your wishes and preferences?
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Where to find your Last Will, passwords and account numbers?
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How you feel about them?
Because death can be sudden and out of our control,
preparations can start while you're young, healthy or when you feel nudged to get it done.
Your people will thank you.
"Planning is self-care. It is also a major act of love, giving friends & family clarity, direction, and most of all ease in the midst of loss and grief."
With a gradual death, a person knows they are going to die...not knowing the when or how... but knowing that it is coming.
A gradual death might be the end stage of fighting or enduring a life limiting disease. There is time but
time is limited.
A doula is a neutral presence and helps a person clarify what they want and need in their dying process and how they want to say good-bye to their loved ones and their life.
This is deep and sacred work.
"I always hold the possibility
for miracles to happen."
~ Jen Blalock
Cancer is the second leading cause of death in the US. When a person is in treatment and fighting for their life, death can be pushed away in favor of staying positive.
This is a common strategy widely used to fight cancer.
You've got to do what you need to do to survive and get through. Doula work may not be for you at this time. Honor that and...
...CONSIDER the possibility that opening the door to death can mitigate fear and create more space inside the psyche and emotional body, to better fight the cancer. It sounds counter-intuitive but engaging with death can open a pathway to more wholistic healing.
One can fiercely fight a disease and befriend death.
Acknowledging death does not hasten death.
If this describes your situation, talk with Jen to see if this work is a good fit for you.
Doula services can benefit people who:
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Have limited time
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Are actively fighting a life limiting disease.
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Are healthy and want to prepare for a possible sudden death.
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Are supporting a loved one through the dying passage.
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Want to befriend and prepare for death to deepen their relationship to life and consciousness.
We service clients online and in-person
locally and globally.
Doula Services begin by creating a Death Plan which will include some of the following options:
Services Online or In-Person*
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Talking through the importance of Practical Documents like medical directives, selecting your medical power of attorney, creating a Last Will and/or a Trust, deciding guardian arrangements for minor children.
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Creating your Last Wishes and instructions for designated person to close out your affairs. This includes financial information, passwords and access to accounts, the disposition of material items, funeral arrangements, etc.
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Reducing death anxiety and fear which is a unique individualized process using various modalities.
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Legacy work including a life review, identifying highlights, accomplishments, difficulties, challenges, regrets and areas for any needed forgiveness.
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A memory book of your life for future generations.
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Good-bye work including letter writing or unique special gifts for children, grandchildren, friends and people who have touched your heart.
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A Vigil Plan visioning what is wanted in the dying process (the parts that can be controlled), such as who should be present, the vibe in the room, any supportive rituals.
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Arranging for grief and bereavement during the dying process and/or after, for all who may need it.
Services performed In-Person*
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Bedside vigil support during the active dying process by providing education about what to expect and supporting family members and friends who are sitting vigil. Being available with touch point visits during the dying process.
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After death care including being present and guiding the washing of the body, adorning with flowers and creating a ceremony in the hours after death (no rush to call a funeral home).
All services are based on an hourly fee of $125/hour.
View sample packages to get an idea of how many hours are needed for services:
Talking through Legal Documents & Last Wishes
ATTENTION: This discussion does NOT provide legal advice. We are not attorneys but we can express how and why these documents are important, especially if there is a sudden death.
In the US, each state has different requirements so we cannot provide state by state advice. We CAN advise you on how to get started, where to store the documents once completed and who to communicate your wishes to.
One hour session = $125
Reducing Fear & Anxiety of Death
This service requires a thorough intake to understand your situation and feelings. Based on our conversation, modalities to address the fear and anxiety will be recommended. Ideally, we would have three 90 minute meetings over a prescribed period of time to ensure the integration of learnings and insights.